Are you in the “real” conversation?

  • This is truly the 64,000 question.  Most of us engage the conversation we know how to have but often that is not the “real” conversation.  The conversation that you don’t know how to have, is typically a “real” conversation, it’s  the conversation you MUST have to move forward.   Other questions that are related to this one are:

    • Are you doing your top priority work first or do you tackle the things that you know how to do easily first?
    • Are you majoring in minors?
    • Who inside you determines the focus and the direction of your energy expenditure during a day?  Is it your protective and scarcity/anxiety/stressed based self or is it your aspirational self?

    Since our organizational and our personal lives are  a series of conversations day in and day out, if we aren’t having the conversations that are most important (even if  hard), we can expect the following:

    1. Decreased passionate engagement and satisfaction in our work and life.
    2. Decreased energy, efficiency and productivity.
    3. Decreased positive personal and organizational results.

    But when we do have the “real” conversations, the ones we MUST have, we can expect the following:

    1. Increased engagement for ourselves and others.
    2. Increased connection  to our colleagues and ourselves.
    3. Increased sense of empowerment, for playing big and not small.
    4. Increased efficiency, energy and productivity.
    5. Increased positive personal and organizational results.

    If you agree you want to have the “real” conversation, the one you MUST have, the first step is COURAGE.   And where do you find that courage?  For many of us it is found in reconnecting with our personal mission and purpose for our work and our lives.  We find it through our hearts and what matters to us.  Did you know that the root of the word Courage is Coeur for heart.  Ask yourself:

    1. In my moments of “Flow” in my work and my personal life, what is it that excites and compels me?  What gives me energy?
    2. Why  does my work matter to me?  To others?

    The second step is COMMITMENT and action.  After you have brought to the forefront of your heart and mind the meaning and purpose of your life and your work, then make a list of the conversations you are avoiding, including any with yourself.  Rank order the list from easiest to most difficult. Then, make a commitment to go after them one at a time, until you have made it through the list.  Starting with the easiest allows you build on your successes and achieve positive momentum to continue to engage the “real” conversations that arise in all of our lives.

    The third step is to APPRECIATE and acknowledge yourself for shifting avoidance to positive forward moving action.




    July 13th, 2014 | admin | Comments Off on Are you in the “real” conversation? | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

About Nancy


Nancy C. Wonders is an interior designer. The “interiors” she designs are psychological, not physical, space -- a client’s personal interior landscape, or the emotional barometer of a team, or an entire organization. Nancy’s office includes a “design bar” where clients have a chance to re-invent how they see themselves and/or their organizations. These re-structurings result in discovering what is fresh, new and alive. This discovery prompts profound, immediate change, on both the inside and in interactions with others. Read more»

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